This whole pregnancy thing feels like a huge mourning process.
This was unplanned. We were not prepared. It was a surprise that were both adjusting too. *more on the future podcast*
For me, It feels way more real now that it does to him. My body is constantly changing and I notice at least one thing different everyday.
I’m not mourning my old body and how it looked but rather,
how it felt.
I miss
my energy
my painless body
my clear mind
my agility
my “normal” health.
The extra weight has made it so hard to get comfortable, sitting is hard, laying is hard
walking up the stairs gets me winded.
Everyday I wake up with a new ache.
I couldn’t put what I felt into words.
I was just so tired and frustrated.
I reminded myself that it’s okay to feel sad and so... I let myself cry.
There are many hard days.
To be blunt, I hate being pregnant
but when I can feel our baby’s little movements, it makes it a little easier to push through.
I now know why many womxn say they miss being pregnant,
these moments are magic.